Northerners are unfortunate folk. Poorly educated with a chip on their shoulder so large they often walk with a slight list. They enjoy weekly pilgrimages to the holy place they call 'Netto' the only known place whereby the carrier bags cost more than the products. Whilst there, they will demonstrate their budgeting skills, often having to choose between powdered milk for one of their many offspring or cigarettes. You can identify a northerner by their apparel, firmly stuck in the 80's shell suits remain in fashion and fake tan sells so quickly the select few who completed their education, cannot replenish the shelves fast enough, it has been said that some northern girls have taken to using creosote.
In conclusion, northerners should be kept in caged enclosures, and remain incarcerated until they fully grasp the English language.
Dave: Hey mate, I've just moved from Leeds, looking for some work in the capital.
James: You're a Northerner?
Dave: Erm... yes... *sighs*
James: You know where the door is.