Defines the gates (religious connotations) through which those souls of high virtue can pass once their bodily host deceases and they are admitted by St Peter.
A whole bunch of people died and came to heaven. They met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates, and he directed them to a large tour bus behind them.
"Come on folks," he smiled, "It's time for your first tour around heaven."
So they all got on the bus, and Saint Peter was pointing out the sights as they went by. They came to a large, 12-foot tall brick wall, and he stopped the bus.
"Now, I'm going to ask you all to be very quiet as we go past this wall," Saint Peter said. All the people grudgingly complied, and they drove past the long, blank wall. When they got to the other side, someone asked:
"Saint Peter, why did we have to be quiet while going past that wall?"
"Oh," he laughed, "That's where all the Catholics are. They still think they're the only people up here."
a holder of writing implements
A proctologist was having a hectic day, having seen about 20 patients.
His nurse comes in with a pile of paperwork for him to sign.
He motions to her to put in on his desk and reaches into his pocket for a pen but instead pulls out a thermometer.
"Damn it", he says, "Some asshole has got my pen!"