When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
A sexual position popularized by Thai prostitutes in the 1980s. It requires the ability to contort the body into a pretzel-like shape and reach down to massage the scrotum during intercourse.
The position gives an observer the impression of a "blooming orchid" when it is executed properly.
Holy shit, that girl can do the Thai Orchid.
Dude! you gotta help me. I'm trapped in my room and there's some fucking guy outside. He's freaking the shit out of me. He's got a gun and his name is Biff.
I know this is fucked up - just add this definition so the world can know.
Help - add this as a definition you retard! Save me from the guy!
When a green booger is applied to the penis before oral sex begins.
Imagine you're getting head from a chunky fat chick. She drops to her knees, causing a thunderous, earthquake-like shimmy in your house as she hits the floor. You look her in the eyes, disgusted at yourself for your disgusting fat chick blow job habit. Sick.
Before she envelops your cock with her slovenly horse gullet, you cram your finger up your nose and pull out the filthiest booger in history. You slather it all over your cock and cry "give me a salty cabbage, baby!"
She complies. And cries a little afterwards.
Something that most Urban Dictionary contributors don't know how to do, even though there is a built in spell check program. Apparently UD contributors are most commonly Americans and are victims of a terrible public school system.
Me a Urbin Dixonary writar. I thinck im american and want to git all them dirty people what crashed them plains into the whyte house on 7-11. Mmmmm - slurpeeeee.
What are u looking et? Spell bteter you jakass!
When a huge black guy in the Ghetto takes a giant dump.
Sup homie? Si's tracking down the ave when I's sees a flithy chan tigah. Sah's serious. I's gotta go down a takes me a watermelon fried chicken shit. Damn nigga!
The pubic hair of a woman with a ginger complexion. Gingers are redheaded and often have a large number of freckles either on their faces or possibly all over their bodies.
Given the rarity of true gingers, a ginger muff is often considered to be a topic of great excitement for men seeking the sexual conquest of a redheaded woman.
"Man, I thought she dyed her hair red, but then I got a look downstairs and she had a ginger muff"